The Giganticus Panticus


Charlotte Stirling

For Teddy, Abby, Owain , Cory and Georgie. With love.

The Giganticus Panticus lives in the hills
South West of China and North of Brazil
His head is HUGE and he sports tiny gills
That open and shut like corner shop tills.

Now Giganticus Panticus is terribly shy
You won’t find him singing up high in the sky
His opera is dreadful – I tell not a lie
Five hundred collective horrified sighs

From the Snaffley Snorks that tend to his paws
Such adorable creatures they crouch on all fours
As they file and buff and create such a sheen
That the Burpington Birds all gather to preen.

Now, the Furious Flogwart is an envious bird
He’s constantly angry at a name so absurd
Being cross all the time makes his feathers go black
And a smelly great cloud hovers over his back.

One night he decided to fly to the hills
Where Giganticus Panticus was flapping his gills
Flogwart waited until it was dark and then
Forcefully expelled the most alarmingist parp!

Giganticus Panticus leapt to his feet
In a fever of terror and flapping and tweets.
The Burpington Birds were staying over, you see
Just for the night and the strong, morning tea.

But everything went wonky and foggled and plink
Too much squawking and with the lamp on the blink
The Furious Flogwart flew straight into the sink
And turned a terrible, horrible, girlysome pink.

Giganticus Panticus laughed til he cried, til he hummed
And vibrated as tears rolled down his side.
He chortled for hours and sniggered and sighed
Then his gills began flapping and he started to fly.

He levitated slowly up into the sky
And floated and giggled and ate some blue pie
That a kindly old Twofer had thrust in his paws
As he rose to the heavens with thunderous applause.

What became of Giganticus up in the air?
Did he rest on a cloud and grow lots of hair
Was he found in a temple, a jungle, a church
Or sleeping awake on a Gurglesbint perch?

I really don’t know and it’s quite up to you
To decide the fate of this shy creature too
Whatever you choose make it just round the bend
For the Giganticus Panticus – this is THE END.