Today it’s Adam Oster‘s turn; he’ll tell us about the long and winding road that leads to the right person.
Oh, and while we have your attention, let’s just seize the moment to drop the information that Hearts & Other Dead Things is available in paperback now!
My story for this anthology, Girl of my Dreams – A Saga of Failure, was one I wasn’t even sure I could manage to write. Cobbling together a series of my personal failures as a man who wishes to court a woman was actually quite painful. But at the same time, cathartic. However, I can’t help but think my wife was rather disappointed that a story titled “Girl of my Dreams” wasn’t about her…well, not directly anyways.
However, my wife is, quite honestly, the girl of my dreams…I just hadn’t met her at the point in which the story happened.
Possibly quite literally my true GOMD, as I used to have a recurring dream about a gorgeous blond haired vixen who would take over my life.
Yet, the story of her arrival in my life is no less amazing than the story of how I failed time and again to get someone else into it. You see, I had recently given up a good career, been broken up with a girl I had been dating for years (whom I had intended to marry), and was quite destitute, both financially, emotionally, and personally.
The only thing I had going for me, in fact, was that I was absolutely pathetic…something I found that women responded to much better than my ineptitude at making a first move. My wife had just moved back to the country from a year overseas and was finding the adjustment period difficult…so, in other words, we were both just looking for someone to be there.
Of course, when I, as a 22 year old, realized that a 17 year old had been expressing romantic interest in me, the first thing I did was to announce my discomfort and fear over the troubles she would cause me to my roommate. A statement he would laugh about time and again as our relationship began properly.
In fact, we had been dating for almost half a year before I finally decided to make it official…something I realized was quite pathetic, so I turned it into a Valentine’s Day joke…you know, so I could make it official, but also not make it appear as though I hadn’t already been taking it seriously…
But it took me years before I was truly capable of allowing myself to consider it something more than just a fling…a very long-standing fling, obviously. Years before I would even allow her to mention the word “marriage” or “children” or, you know…”serious”. We barely ever fought as a couple outside of when it came down to those words…possibly due to the fact that I wasn’t capable of allowing myself to even consider such a thing.
So, here was the situation now…as opposed to the events laid out in the story l wrote for this anthology where I was unable to seal the deal, I was in a situation where the deal was already sealed, I just didn’t want to recognize it (actually, if you look closely enough, you’ll see that this was true of both situations).
When I finally allowed myself to consider the idea of marriage, it all seemed so simple…and, although life is not easy, and we’ve definitely had our low points, easy is really the best term to describe it. Now I’m the guy staying at home with three kids, writing books and screenplays and jokes, while trying to figure out how I can make her life even more amazing. And all it took was to allow myself to think differently…to allow myself out of my comfort zone.
Because isn’t that what love really is: being comfortable where you least think you should be?
Maybe not…but I can at least say that my story has a happy ending…or at least a happy middle.