Let’s talk about love, #2

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With our big launch day for Hearts & Other Dead Things being tomorrow, it’s high time we let another of our writers speak up about that weirdest of emotions. Today, it’s Yvonne Marjot.

*****

Is there any other kind?

I was fourteen when it began. I was a nice girl. Well, we all are, aren’t we, at first? He was the boy all the girls were in love with. I admired him from afar but never dreamed I’d have a chance with him. One day I was helping out backstage at the playgroup concert. He was there. It turned out his Mum knew my Mum.

We talked. For hours. Is there anything more romantic to a fourteen-year-old girl? It was wonderful. I drifted home floating on clouds of dreams. I wondered if he’d ask me to the school dance.quote johnny on the spot

He didn’t.

The next day he sat next to me in music class. I was so excited I could hardly breathe. Halfway through Mr Thurley’s daily drone, he put his hand on my knee. My thigh. Slipped it under the hem of my gymslip. This was not right. What had happened to my white knight, my talkative boy? The hand crept higher. I squirmed and pressed my legs together. After a while the hand gave up and withdrew.

That night I lay in bed and wondered: was that what was supposed to happen? What was wrong with me that something I would have fantasized about if I could have brought myself to imagine it, had, in reality, turned out to be such a letdown? I told myself it was just as well to find out what kind of person he was before getting involved with him. I told myself I’d made a lucky mistake. I told myself I was right to be sensible and prim.

But I still wonder what kind of kisser he was.

*****

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One response »

  1. Pingback: Let’s talk about love, #2 | The Knitted Curiosity Cabinet

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